


SBURB Complementary Guide

by thoughtfulAngel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Replay Value AU, SBURB Guide, Walkthrough Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-29 23:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3914362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtfulAngel/pseuds/thoughtfulAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An expanding guide to GodsGiftToGrinds' SBURB Glitch FAQ. Is the dude dead or something? Did anyone encounter him on recent sessions?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Native Rogue of Mind here, currently on my third session as a Maid of Rhyme (Mind is still the best there is). 
> 
> I used to read GodsGiftToGrinds' SBURB Glitch FAQ while on my second session because I was confused asf about the whole replay thingy. Being a Knight of Heart wasn't the best (I HATED that aspect and the frog duties) so I searched for a guide online and I was surprised by the Replay Bug which now seems like a constant on every session, so I tought that expanding his FAQ would be useful for the poor peps that wanted to play this shitty bugged game.

 

### Chapter 1: Savior of the Waking World.

 

So, that naive Native ("play on words")  Might player forgot to post a FAQ about this part of the game or something, which I strongly like. Also it's the first "solitary" step of the whole game, because there will be no Denizen to send you doing stuff anymore (I'm sorry for that) and you'll be in charge of the safety of your planet. That may sound stupid, like "Why the hell is the game so broken that **I** should fix it?" but this is a maturity path too so you should shut the hell up and listen, because it won't be an easy journey.

Oh and btw, this is not by any means mid-game, this is still fucking early-game, your land isn't ready for anything to come. Which is you. In its insides. Whatever.

 

 

_**@@@@@@** _

 

 

 **Sub-Chapter 1:** Planet Healer.

 

 

Yeah! Planet healing! Two words which put together don't make any sense. They make just as much sense in context too! Wonderful, isn't it? I actually like [ _Savior of the waking world_ ] because you'll be all like "Why is the game making me pull weeds out this fucking Land, I wanted to play a game, not to be a land-caretaker". I won't spoil you how to end all this bullshittery right now, but I'll give you straight indications on how to be a perfect gardener. (yeah, even if your land doesn't have any grass).

Anyway, chances are you just killed your friend-bromonster, released the Hoard and played your land instrument. And you noticed that your Land has changed its layout while you were playing random notes that apparently made a lot of sense musically speaking. Well, my friend, that was the Song of your Land which you just instinctively learned, congratulations! Whenever you will want to play it, you will do it, even if you don't know jack shit about the notes or something! Oh and btw, you'll NEED to play it multiple times during [ _Planet Healer_ ]. Being a Mind player and knowing that I'm playing a song without being in control of what I'm doing is really strange, let me tell you!   
  
Now, the first thing that stumble across the player is " **What now?** ". Well, now you gotta captchalogue your Land Instrument, because you are going to play the shit out of it, multiple times. Then stop crying thinking about the Denizen. This is not what he would have wanted. He wants you to save your own Land.

 

 **Q: So, what am I saving my Land from?**  
  
Well, the short answer for this is: A Plague. It seems like the Plague is different for every player, so I'm going to assume that your Plague isn't going to be like mine (which btw was a motherfucking flood of a SINGLE river. Shit was crazy. On my second playthrough it was a train wreck. I mean, there literally were trains wrecking everywhere and shit was crazier but I somehow managed to stop them). Also, it seems like the Plague is linked to the second title of your Land. You know, the Land of X and Y. The plague will be somehow linked to your Y. 

 

But right now, your focus won't be about the Plague yet!

 

 

 **Q: Okay, whatever, what am I going to do, then?  
**   
Go find your ***FIRST*** consorts village and ask them about your Denizen. They will narrate you about his/her death just as it was a legendary battle (we both know that you slaughtered a defendless dude) and then will recognize you as the Hero of the Land. It's funny because they are the only consorts to acknowledge you as the Savior (other villagers will still treat you like a stranger) and will tell you about the problems of your Land. 

 

Basically, you'll be grinding quests again.

 

 

 **Q: I'm going to battle underlings again?**  
  
Not really. You are more likely going to explore every single corner of your planet and fixing "what's wrong" again and again and you sure are going to hate every second of it. And it sure is going to last A LOT! Like, MONTHS! Months of you being a fucking merry-go-round because you want to increase your Land Reputation, which now will be relevant for a bit. Also, these lil' quests won't have anything to do with the plague AT ALL. Like, I've spent months of mail delivering between consorts. I mean, did anybody care about the fucking flood of the planet? hello? anyone? Whatever.

 

 

**Q: Just that?**

Yes. If you did any of the side quests during your Denizen Arc, you'll recognize them as similar to the ones that you are going to do now. [ _Planet Healer_ ] just doesn't give a fuck about healing. It's more like Planet Slave.

However, I've heard of variants.

While my current two [ _Planet Healer_ ] arcs were all like "yo rogue/knight please burn that tree because it's blocking the sun (WHAT SUN?)" some of my friends' ones were like "AHHH KILL THAT THING, HE IS BURNING THE WHOLE PLACE OUT!". I think those were more appropriate of the "Healing" adjective, because they were... Uhm.. Killing the **[Bacteria]**. I don't know a lot about those so just read flamboyantGardener's Bacteria FAQ, because they seem to be a common thing actually??  
  
  


**Q: Shit! Help! My consorts won't give me quests!  
**   
That is because you probably don't have enough Land Reputation. Actually, your starting Land Reputation is the same as the minimum Reputation required to get those quests. Did you kill some of the consorts?  
No? Are you sure?  
Well, now this is a problem. You can't start [ _Planet Healer_ ] and other players will hate you for that (probably they are envious about your carefree status), but you should start soon! Like, really soon, because if you don't heal your planet in time, it's gonna EXPLODE.

 

Well, not literally, but you won't be able to go there anymore. Like, the air won't be breathable AT ALL, it will be poisonous. You gotta hurry up and say SORRY to those poor consorts. Maybe, I don't know, bake them a cake? Do something goddamnit!  
  


 

 **Q: So is there a countdown?**  
  
Not really. As long as you do your quests, you will be fine. Like, you can go on months of doing quests, but if you don't do them for a WEEK, everything is gonna get fucked up. It's really a bummer, I hope you explored lots of dungeons before this whole stuff, because you won't have time to explore those NOW.

 

 

**Q: Okay so I'm doing these quests since forever, when is something going to happen?  
**

Well, all these quests will increase your Land Reputation. When the Reputation meets a defined number (someone calculated it as 413612, which is a lot and that's why it'll take a lot), a consort will come to you to thank you and to narrate you about the Lotus Field, our next Sub-Chapter.

 

**Q: No, REALLY, this is taking too long. I think it's bugged.**

Believe me, it isn't. Actually, it seems like this Arc is the least bugged of the whole game! Some people (me included) think that the planet healer thingy was the intended SBURB whole gameplay. Then something happened and it expanded and it became all shitty. Nice job!  
  
  
  
Well, I'm gonna log off for now. Gotta take care of my new Denizen. He sure is good about making me mad, I just wanna kill it so badly you don't even KNOW OMFG...

 

P.S. To the peps of my first session: Please, find a way to answer to this Guide. I miss you all so much. I hope to meet you again somewhere in this fucking multiverse. Cheers.


	2. Sub-Chapter 2: The Lotus Field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new Denizen sent me on a couple of quests on a fucking volcano.  
> It was hot.

 

**Lotus Field.**

 

 

 

Soooooo I left you last time to let you do your stupid quests again and again on the [ _Planet Healer_ ] arc. Were those stupid like mine or were those about the **[BACTERIA]**? I've heard that the **[BACTERIA]** variants actually reward you with LOTS of Reputation so I sure hope that you got those one! Well, if your **[Gardening Consort]** (I'm gonna call it **_GC_** from now on) still didn't come to you to tell you about his fucking field, you still aren't ready for it! Go do quests again, I suggest to accept lots of them and then do them simultaneously. By doing so you'll save time AND you may have some fun too!   
  
For those who got told about the **{Lotus Field}** , how is it going? Were you having fun by grinding again? Now you'll be doing something a lil' different, so get ready for it!  
  
If you were listening to the lil' dude, you would know that you should follow him! He'll wait for you, so don't worry about losing him on the way! Also, you're temporarily save from the "Countdown" [Bug?], you can go explore again in free roaming mode! Go slay some mini-bosses and gather some loot while the **GC** is waiting like an idiot by your house! 

  
**[Critical threat]** When you'll reach the **{Lotus Field}** , the Countdown will start again. Do the fucking Lotus quests or your land will perish forever and ever.

 

 **Q: So, what exactly is the Lotus Field?**  
  
It's exactly what it says in the cover! It's a long-ass field full of Lotus.   
You're probably wondering how is it possible that a huge field like this has been hidden in your land this whole time while you were scattering all around the place. Well, the field is not on the ground! It's underground. The **GC**  thought that transplanting it was the most logical thing to do in order to prevent it by the Plague, and I can't really argue with that, but I don't believe that he REALLY transplanted all of it by himself. The game probably teleported it underground or something, or maybe it didn't spawn on the ground in the first place.

Whatever, point is, "it's a long-ass field full of Lotus."

 

 

**Q: What next?**

Well, now you're gonna be a Lotus-caretaker. These Lotus are actually the representation of your Land's health. Heck, they may even be LITERALLY its health! Now you know why they are important.

The **GC** will explain you the basics of Lotus Gardening and he'll help you out the whole time. He really is a capable dude and a good listener too, so I wouldn't hurt him in any way. He hugged me when I told him about my relationships problems and Denizen related issues.

**< 3**

 

 **Q: Okay but.. You didn't answer my question! What will I do from now on?**  
  
Oh, right, the Lotus thing. Eheh, sorry, I really fly off when we talk about that cute Gardener. Some may argue that bureaucratic carapacians are actually more of a dude than this all-gardening bro. They are full of shit.

Like, really! How can you beat a Gardening consort in cuteness? They sure seem busy about what they are doing, but they are just silly goofs! Eheh. Also they won't judge youfor what you are crying for and for your fucking views on polygamy oh god where is this going right yeah the quest eh

Basically, if you, during the [ _Planet Healer_ ] path, had the **[BACTERIA]** quests, now you'll be taught about how to be a perfect Lotus grower! Your duty will be about those stuff but I don't really know about those because I didn't have the Bacteria ones, I had the **[USELESS]** ones, so if you did those first, now you'll get the Bacteria on the Field! Read flamboyantGardener's Bacteria FAQ for a walkthrough of the **[USELESS]** ones on the Field, I can't discuss about those!

  
  
**Q: So my purpose is the well-being of the flowers?  
**

Yes! Just do what you're told and you'll be fine. **GC** will "do" the quests that you didn't get, so while I was killing insect-like imps, he was singing a cute song (I think that was the Song of the Land?) while watering the plants (CUTE!).

Kill the Bacteria and you'll be fine. It won't last long, too! (I don't know if the useless ones last longer).

Problem is, you won't sleep at all while guarding these plants. It seems like the spawn rate was made from a butthurt Gardener who didn't get a lot of attention while he was an teenagers and all the other teenagers were all like "look at that NERD and his gay plants" so he made this apocalyptic game about gardening to kill everyone forever and water his fucking gay plants. I sure feel sorry for you, dude, but that was mean! I DO like sleeping, you know.

 

 

**Q: When will this bullshit end?**

I've heard that the [USELESS LOTUS ARC] ends when all the flowers are all sparkly and shit.

For us **[BACTERIA]**  killers **(BK)** , the bullshit will end once we explore the **Amphibious Subterrain**. Basically, you'll kill underlings until the **GC** will let you enter the Dungeon, which is located right under the field (GENIUS), and destroy the Insect Spawner.

 

The  **Amphibious Subterrain  **is a low-level dungeon. I think it was made to be moody and not that all dungerous. Believe me, it really is! The background music (I believe it's called _Lotus Land Story_ ) is gorgeous and there won't be lots of insects either. All the walls are painted by what I believe were the consorts. Even if your Land didn't exist before your entry, it seems like every planet has its backstory. I don't know you, but I've always found them wonderful! Go view some pictures or just hurry up to the Spawner.

 

When you'll get there, you'll notice that there will be a **mini-boss**. He does not have a name, but I do know that he can mimic your abilites, so be careful! Shouldn't be a pain in the ass, tho. You'll kill it easily once you realize that you can just smash his head forever until he dies. He won't drop anything special either, just go to the Spawner room.

 

Now things get complicated. The Spawner Room is a huge hallway full of puzzles and shit. You WILL spend lots of minutes figuring out how to solve the shit out of it, so I suggest to bring with you a Mind or Mage player. And by the way, all of my Spawner Rooms weren't insects related at all! My first one was a big mix of sudoku and chess (don't ask) and my second one was about some mythological family issues (again, don't ask).

When the puzzles are all sorted out, the dungeon will just disappear with a mystical "WOOOOOOHOOOMM" or something and you'll be at home again.

 

* * *

 

New players often don't know what to do from here on. Just go to your Gardener Consort again and ask him about the state of the Plague!  
And go pay a look on your field. I mean, it's your child too. Bring tea and drink it with him while watching the flowers sparkle all day long. It's very relaxing.   
Again, don't worry about the Countdown until you ask him about the Plague. Then the Countdown will be mad. Like two seconds will take just one second to pass or something. 

But, just for now, relax with your new friend.

See you on the next **Sub-Chapter. :)**

 

* * *

P.S. To my dear friend tortuousTester: How come you found tentacleTherapist's FAQ AGES ago and now you won't fucking find my guide? Please, comment this or something! Let me know where you have been all this time. -Your old friend, Kate.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
